Belly at Large: Be a Poser

Hello girlfriends,

What's up? Belly's here with a new post. Thank you for commenting on my post last week. It boosted my self-esteem and earned me a new cat food. It's something from Purina. Dao said it's good for me because it has salmon but I don't like it. Me gustaria el atún, por favor! (Translation is at the end of the post for those no habla español.)

Oh, thank you for calling me el gato supremo. Me gustaria the new title, too! Just keep calling me el gato supremo, ok? Don't stop calling me that, you know I'm handsome (smile).

Well, today's post is about you. It's also about me. Before I retired from the modeling industry, I used to model cat food and stuff. If you see a stripped tabby in a box of cat food, chances are it's me. I'm the Derek Zoolander of the feline modeling world. But I'm better than him: I have more than one look.

You know who has more than one look? Tyra Banks!

La Tyra and a few of her poses. Screen shot from an article in New York Times.

Like La Tyra, I also practice my poses in front of the camera like mad. And as we all know, practice makes perfect. Here are a few of my poses captured by the human handler-slash-paparazzi. She's no Richard Avedon or Patrick Demarchelier so bare with me, ok?

The Demure

Tilt yo' chin down and look dreamy to a land far, far away. There you have it! You'll look demure. This is good for cover of a magazine of a book. You don't want to look fierce when you do The Demure, kitten!

The Majestic

This look is all about the hair: the bigger, the better. Also, I include the deadly stare because I am supposed to look calm, cool, and collected. Don't smile. Don't even try!

The Swimsuit Model

Not my most favorite pose because I have to contort myself but yeah, I still look awesome! Tip for kittens: arch your back, look more feline (as if you're not already a feline!)

The Attentive

This look is reserved for book and magazine commercials. Tips for kittens: stare into subject, fake interest, look smart. Speak French if you want if that increases your level of smartness, unless you're already French. If that's the case then speak Spanish :)

The Belly

This is my signature pose. I only do The Belly when I'm happy. In this case, the bottle of Vaseline Sheer Infusion makes me happy.

How to do it: preferably, you need to have six-pack abs. Otherwise, get some fake abs or something. Lay on your back, put your paws...I mean your hands to the front, close your eyes and purr.

Also, works for cats better than for humans (hehe!)

The Stank Eyes

This pose is reserved for said paparazzi (aka my human handler Dao) in case she bothers me with her camera and flashes. Works like magic all the time. Would probably work on human boys, too. I haven't tried that out.

The Talk to the Back, no explanation needed!

And finally, the "Can I Haz Cheezburger?"

You already found your angle, you know how to do cat eyes (Belly-approved type of makeup), it's time to practice on your poses my kittens! Just practice your poses in front of a full length mirror with a camera and tripod. Just tilt your head up, down in different angles while twisting your body in different direction as well. Learn from great posers like La Paree. She has her poses nailed down so learn from her. And learn from moi, too. La human handler actually borrowed the Demure from me. If you don't believe me, just read any of her FOTD post and you'll see (haHA, Dao!)

Kittens, give me your feedback love, mkay? The more lurve I have, the less I have to endure the dreadful chicken cat food. And I love tuna (<- yup, that's the translation for the Spanish phrase at the beginning of this entry!)

Love, peace, and tuna fish,
Mr. Belly, aka Gato Supremo



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